“I think you are using confusion as a way to protect yourself from getting hurt.”
My head flying back in disbelief I said, “AH, you have got to be kidding me, I just released fear as my false protector, and now you are saying confusion has come to take its place?” UGH!
My friend had just said something similar to me as I was rambling about my confusion to him before the appointment: “Lindsay, staying confused keeps you from making a decision and that feels safer than stepping into something that you fear either outcome, you are staying safe on the fence.”
Folks, I feared pain, the pain of possible rejection and the pain of it possibly working out. I know, kinda crazy, huh! I feared, so I was controlling through confusion.
I feared, so I was controlling through confusion. That’s really WEIRD.
Fear, control, and confusion often work side by side.
But we have to walk past them, we have to push through them, and that is not always easy, actually, I have found that it can be quite hard. But GOOD NEWS Jesus is right beside us, there to help us, He really is, we just have to ask.
We have to ask Jesus to help us, and then we have to ask ourselves:
Then, we must ask Jesus the same questions.
Jesus, what are my fears in this situation?
Jesus, what am I trying to control?
Jesus, what part is confusion playing? What am I REALLY confused about?
The confusion comes to bring disorder in our minds. Sometimes it feels safe, but like fear it is a false protector, it’s hiding something that Jesus probably wants to heal.
In 1 Peter 5:8 the Bible says “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
In the Greek language (the original language of the Bible) the word sober-minded is a verb meaning to exercise self-control.
“self-control” in our mind is what we are going to talk about here. And GOOD NEWS because self-control is a FRUIT of the Holy Spirit, so we don’t really have to muster it up, we can rather, ASK for HIS help!
It’s the simplest of prayers, “Holy Spirit will you help me here”?
The thing is controlling what we believe is an action; it is the renewing of our mind with what God says about us, rather than:
A) What we think ourselves.
B) What the dust people say about us (every human on earth)
Don’t believe all the thoughts you think about yourself, because our minds are influenced by so many different things and this is what causes confusion.
The definition of confusion is a state in which many things are happening in a way that is not controlled or orderly.
“many things are happening” can mean, many things happening around us, many things happening inside of us or many things being spoken over us (by random dust people or directly from the Father of Lies). All of this can cause confusion.
I love what I heard Bible teacher, Beth Moore recently say:
“It’s often important to ask…Who told you that?”
Who told you, you were confused?
Who told you, you were ugly?
Who told you, you were worthless?
Who told you weren’t good enough?
Who told you that?
And ask Holy Spirit to help you!
We must be sober-minded, we must be thoughtful about what we are thinking about, we must ask ourselves, where did that thought come from? And what is the fruit of that thought? Is it peace, joy, contentment? Or is it fear, anxiousness, confusion.
We are in a world with two kingdoms, the Kingdom of Heaven and the kingdom of darkness. Which Kingdom is your thought life coming from? We can all be influenced by both at any minute.
Which Kingdom are you allowing into your mind, to affect your emotions?
God (the God of the Bible) is not a God of confusion, so if you are confused, ask Jesus to show you His truth in your life and your situation. He says He will never leave you or forsake you and that He will always help you through His Spirit (the Holy Spirit). (Hebrews 13:5 and Isaiah 41:10)
Be encouraged, because we are promised that when we ask it will be given to us (Matthew 7:7) and in conjunction with James 1:5 when we ask for wisdom, we can be assured that He will provide what we need.
(Quick Pause, because I have to recommend this book that my writing mentor wrote on this subject of “Is God saying He is the One”, because it’s SO GOOD- Click HERE to Order)
Click Below for More from Beth Moore- She’s AMAZING!
I had to look this one up! and guys it wasn’t pretty, as I read through the list my eyes were wide open, at one point in my life I have struggled (or still struggle) with each one of these)
but there’s good news, so keep reading!
Do you attach too soon to another?
Do you exhibit excessive controlling behaviors (or thoughts)?
Do you find flaws in potential mates?
Do you sabotage your relationships?
Do you have constant fears of cheating?
Do you expect perfection?
Do you have commitment issues?
If you resonate with one or more of these statements, you may need a touch from your Heavenly Father as He applies His love to these broken places and heals your broken and wounded heart.
Similar to rejection abandonment can come from many sources at different times in life.
And knowing “it” has a name and speaking it will help us get free!
So NO SHAME! (that’s a lie too)
There is a lie the enemy loves to perpetrate and that is “this is just who you are,” he always wants to attack our identity, which never allows us the freedom to overcome.
Not only is our inheritance as followers of Jesus FREEDOM, it is also said that we are more than conquers, in Romans 8:37.
And the truth is, you are NOT your issues, and as I have realized recently, I am not mine!
LIE: I use to think I was such a disaster there was literally no hope.
TRUTH: God showed me I was wrong, there is ALWAYS Hope in Him!
Galatians 5:1 New American Standard Bible
It was for freedom that Christ Jesus set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
The “feelings of abandonment” can seep into our thoughts about the future and tell us that what happen in the past is going to happen in the future and then fear is manifested on top of abandonment.
These are both LIES.
The Bible calls lies, YOKES OF SLAVERY.
The Bible is literally telling us NOT to be subject (in some translations it says) do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
There is a part for us to play, we are to stand against these lies. We must reject the fear that the enemy presents to us saying, “the abandonment is going to happen again.”
He uses our past against us. And it’s always him, people are rarely the problem, they may look like the problem, but they aren’t the real problem, the enemy is always the problem (see Epes. 6:12)
This fear of abandonment comes from the broken world we all live in! But my favorite promise throughout scripture is that our God (Jesus Christ Himself) will NEVER leave us or forsake us.
We may be abandoned by our friends, our families, our communities, our churches, our boyfriends, our bosses, and even ourselves, but we will NEVER be abandoned by our Heavenly Father, our Lord and Friend Jesus Christ and our Counselor and Comfortable the Holy Spirit of God.
Psalm 118:6 says “The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
The fear of being abandoned is twisted and let me assure you it can wreak havoc in your life. It will tell you that you are something you are not; it WILL LIE to you! It will say to you “be careful Lindsay, don’t get too close, what if they leave you, you will surely die.”
WHAT? SHUT UP SATAN! I will not die.
If God is for me, who can be against me? (a portion of Romans 8:31)
And the fear of abandonment is actually taking two lies and twisting them around each other, to confuse you even more.
LIE #1: FEAR
LIE #2: Abandonment
“You don’t have to fear,” God says!
Google these promises and write them down on little white note cards and put them everywhere!
1 Peter 5:6-7
2 Timothy 1:7
Romas 12:2 do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. And the best book I ever read on this subject is Battle Field of the Mind By Joyce Myer, best money you will ever spend, CLICK HERE to Buy It Now.
Let’s do what the Creator of the Universe says and be transformed by the renewing of our minds!
We are more than conquers, we are overcomers, we have Jesus on our side, WE WIN! End of story!
The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation.
We’ve all been hurt by other people, we’ve hurt ourselves, and we’ve hurt others. And as a result, every single one of us ends up with some sort of hurt, hang-up, or habit. But the question we all face is, Where do we go from here?
The LIE of rejection.
This one, the Spirit of Rejection also springs up in different ways. If this one really hurts, I have a GREAT suggestion on a book that just came out by a writing hero of mine on this subject. CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE
Rejection can seep in on the playground, at your church, in your family or at the office, without ever being spotted. It’s slimy, and it’s always evil, aka straight from the pit of hell.
The enemy is always the enemy, so no matter if rejection got to you through a friend, a pastor, a spouse or a family member, it’s never the people we are fighting with, it’s ALWAYS the enemy.
Now, does the enemy love to work through people? Absolutely, no question, that is his primary way. And if he can do it through someone super close to you, BAM, he knows that will hurt the worst.
I know, I hate it too. But as the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8
Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
Therefore, friends, we must fight, but we don’t fight alone, and we don’t fight against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12) and truthfully it’s not even our fight, the Lord says He will fight for us.
In my experience, we do play a part; we play a part that seems simple but for some reason doesn’t always “feel” simple. We must keep our eyes on Jesus Christ, for the Bible says:
Basically, keeping our minds on Him will give us perfect peace, because we are trusting in Him!
When we have been hurt by someone either in our past or in our current day situation, we have to forgive them. It’s oddly dangerous not to forgive. It has been said to affect our health in extreme ways. According to John Hopkins, one of the leading hospitals in the US; there are significant health benefits to forgiving.
Karen Swartz, M.D, at John Hopkins says “There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed.” She goes on to say that “Chronic anger puts you in a fight or flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure, and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease, and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.”
The Mayo Clinic reports that a lack of forgiveness can cause the feeling of your life lacking purpose.
The Bible warns us very clearly about the danger of unforgiveness. The truth is, the Bible is very clear in the parable in Matthew 18:21-35 that the devil does have access to torment us if we hold unforgiveness. So let’s take care of that now.
Note* forgiveness is one of those things that you do before you feel!
So let’s give it a try, close your eyes, ask the Holy Spirit (the Spirit of God that Jesus sent to live in YOU as a believer in Him) to show you who may have rejected you and what you need to forgive them for…
When you are ready…
1. Say out loud, ” I choose to forgive ___________ from my heart for ___________. (what they did to me)
2. Say out loud, “I cancel all debts or obligations owed to me by _________ for what they did to me.”
3. Say out loud, “I forgive myself for any pain I caused myself with this memory and for the unforgiveness, I have been carrying.”
awesome awesome awesome, so proud of you!
If you want to dig in more to this subject of rejection, click here.
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