The word unforgivenss is not in the dictionary
I think that is weird, why wouldn’t it be in the dictionary? When you look up the word unforgivess in the Merriam Webster is says “there is no official word for unforgiveness” which I just found strange, because I think most of us well meaning, loving, lovable, kind people walk around with unforgivness in our heart all the time and it just eats at our soul without us really even knowing.
I discovered this first when I had unforgivness in my heart since childhood about someone close to me that hurt me (not meaning too) but did and very deeply. Truly it had affected my life in every way I can think of, from physical illness, to emotional illness, leading me almost to cause harm to myself.
It wasn’t what happened that made me so (for lack of a better term) “ill”, it was the unforgiveness I carried around for the next 25 years that caused the illness of my body and my emotions. It was a lack of understanding that people make mistakes, well meaning, loving people, just make mistakes in life. This person’s intent was not to harm me, this person actually loves me very much, but I couldn’t see that, because the unforgivness had blinded me with bitterness and resentment that I could not see past. The truth is that person, never knew, and still probably doesn’t know how hurt I was, because “it” the situation had nothing to do with me, even though it affected me in ways I can’t even explain on this little blog entry.
Once I understood how Jesus came to earth, to show us the character of God, then to take on the sins (or the mistakes) of the world (the world, meaning me, because I am one of us in this world and so are you) Jesus came to die for me (and you) for my mistakes (and your mistakes) and the mistakes of those who hurt both, me and you!
Once I let myself see my mistakes, they actually ran through my head like an old time movie playing in the screen of my eyes. It was horrific, I have to be honest. I think I wanted to throw up, I know tears (and probably snot) where streaming down my face, as I saw all the ways I made mistakes, the ways I accidentally hurt people, they ways I even knowingly hurt people out of my own anger and pain. I suddenly understood the sacrifice that Jesus made by hanging on that cross until His death, He died so I could be forgiven of all my mistakes (past, present and future). The next thing that popped into my head was, Lindsay, Jesus also died for the mistakes of that person who hurt you so deeply. It’s time to forgive them!
It is too long to continue this story, but there is more! The journey of forgiveness in my life has freed ME, I didn’t say THEM, I said ME from such pain, sorrow, guilt and gripping fear. I could write a book on this, because it changed my whole life once I was able to see that Jesus died for me, for my “mistakes” little and BIG, He also died for the mistakes of those who hurt me and once I understood that and forgave those people, my life changed in a dramatic way!
I hope you will think about this, ask God, He will answer, ask Him who you need to forgive! Then even though it doesn’t “feel” fair to forgive for what they did to you, think about what our mistakes did to Jesus! Feelings are not always true, do as God asks and forgive as you have been forgiven. I promise, you will be FREE if you do!
I wrote a blog post a few months ago with some help on the actual process of forgiving see here!