Why is rest awkward?
It was Easter Sunday as I drove up the freeway to church, my heart kind of beating in my throat. You know the feeling, my stomach just not settled, I was bothered and felt extremely anxious. “What did God want me to do”, I thought?
I knew He led me to step away from my job, without another job, I knew He asked me to rest. I thought 3 weeks was enough and it was time to get back to it. I had several irons in the fire, audiobooks on play, learning how to take the next step as a writer, a creative entrepreneur.
I got to church, sat down and couldn’t get my mind off of the thoughts running around inside my head. Then it was time for prayer at the end of service. It’s a time where anyone can go up and receive prayer about anything. I have taken advantage of this prayer ministry many times, which can be humbling to walk up in front of everyone and admit you’re desperate need for God, once again.
But God has been really teaching me about “people pleasing” or really caring what others think and caring more about what He thinks instead. So with my head down, I proceeded to the front of the room. I needed to know what He thought and I knew prayer was a great place to start.
“I just need discernment on what God wants me to do“ I said to the prayer minister. “Let’s listen to the Holy Spirit” she said. Then, she began to pray and ask for God’s direction on my behalf. See there is power in the agreement of two or more people when praying, the Bible talks about this in Matthew 18:19 where it reads “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. -Jesus.”
As she prayed, I heard the Lord whisper “just wait”
I thought “Lord, I have all these irons in the fire, I have told so many people I would help with this project and that project, shouldn’t I start making money?”
The prayer minister then said “I feel like God just wants you to crawl up in His lap and be His daughter.”
I had heard God tell me to “just wait” before and that He would show me, but it didn’t quite compute. I knew that hearing this a second time, it was probably from God, so I knelt down at the altar to just be. Then another friend who didn’t really know anything about what we just prayed, knelt down beside me and said “can I pray for you?” As she prayed it felt like she had just had a full on conversation with the last girl that prayed for me, she was saying the very same thing. I knew then without a doubt it was God. I knew He wanted me to stop all that I was doing and rest and trust in Him for what was next.
“God this doesn’t make sense, you know how much money I have in my bank account, right?”
Then I thought, “Oh yeah, You are God, You know everything.”
I realized later as I was processing with God, that I have done a pretty good job all these years taking care of myself. I wasn’t sure what He meant by being a daughter especially at age 38, I mean I am an adult shouldn’t I take care of myself? But He said “no, I want to show you how to be My daughter”
Why is it so difficult? To let the One who created us, take care of us?
Distrust? I am sure
Unbelief? yes we all struggle with that from time to time
The opposite of what culture tells us? UHM yeah FOR SURE.
But as I like to say, people create culture and God well He created the entire Universe.
He is God and because of His son Jesus, we are reconciled back to Father God and called His children. It’s quite beautiful and pretty simple, but we like to make things way more complicated it seems.
Have you given your life to the Lord Jesus Christ? It’s not really a prayer or a big production, it’s a belief and acceptance of a gift that He died to give us, we accept it or we don’t, the choice is really ours.
We love Him only because He first loved us.
If you love Him, let Him know, He is much closer than you realize.