1 Year in LA

When I look back on my journal entries from the last year, I see confusion, fear, panic, stress and I see the very voice of God saying “you don’t have to figure it out Lindsay, I am God, you are not”

This little phrase was first coined (in my life anyway) by my precious friend Katherine Wolf. This girl and her family welcomed me into their home when I first moved here to LA, they provided a stable start to my unstable soul.

I honestly could not have asked for a more Biblically sound family to be near while I was really struggling with every single thing I believed.

They maybe did or didn’t know my deep struggle, but God did and He knew they were just the right people to put close to me in those days.

Although fear tried to overtake me like I had never experienced, God continued to provide people, places and experiences that didn’t necessarily take the fear or doubt away but made me press into Him more and more. It doesn’t sound fun and to be honest it wasn’t, but at the same time I knew that I knew that I had done the right thing. I had NO idea why I was here in LA, but I had no doubt that He had called me this way.

1 year later, I can tell you that I still don’t exactly know why I am here, I miss my people (Ohio, Atlanta, Texas) like crazy, but I know for now that this is where I am supposed to be and I am going to make the very best of it because He is God, and I am not!

Living every moment turning to Him and asking “what now Lord” is a true gift. A living God who loves us so much. It’s almost insane, that is why people often think we are insane for believing what we believe.

But that is ok, God is also teaching me about people pleasing. I can’t please the people, I can only pray for them, that they will one day understand the crazy unbelievable LOVE that the Father has for them. I still pray this for myself. I think it is a life long lesson, His love is so vast. A God who loves us and chooses to call Himself Father, to those who BELIEVE. A God who created us for relationship WITH HIM, it’s insane. A God that knew a generation (every generation) would need a Father, no matter who your father is on earth, no such one is perfect, so He set it up that He would be a Perfect Father to any who would receive this gift (of salvation in Jesus Christ)

It’s insane.

It’s God.

It’s still a mystery to me most days, but my heart is beyond thankful that after 9 months of true struggle in this city, problem after problem, fear after fear, by His grace (ONLY) I just kept pushing through, praying, crying (a lot). I just kept going (even if I was tip toeing around all my fears) and things finally changed. Peace came to my soul. And that is my message for you today, JUST KEEP GOING. He IS with YOU!

Jesus Christ is the PRINCE OF PEACE, so as we live IN HIM. We get to live in PEACE.

Peace that truly does surpass all understanding. Philippines 4:7

I don’t understand it, I don’t think anyone else really does either (that is why it says a peace that surpasses ALL understanding).

All I know is that I lived without peace most of my 38 years, but as we seek Jesus, He is peace. I don’t have it figured out (and thanks be to God, I don’t have too) but I just try to stick to the simple truth of He is Peace and I need Peace, so I need Him every moment of every day!

Peace be with you Jesus would say, so I say that to YOU!
Peace be with YOU!

4 Comments on “1 Year in LA

  1. Wow —- this is so powerful. I love your writing!!! I’m honored to make this blog and to be a part of your 1st year journey! LA is blessed to have you here. Love you–

    • K, you are the most precious… I almost linked to your story but will probably want to do a story on your guys as book comes closer to coming out. WHAT. Love it, LOVE YOU!!

  2. Awesome Lindsay. So glad that peace is becoming an internal reality for you – despite what your external circumstances are. Is it amazing that just as you are in Christ – he is in you – desiring to live through you. Therefore, every battle is his to fight through you. The battle is won through constant surrender to Him. I am so happy you came to LA!

    • Thank you sweet friend!!!! SO glad I met you and your hub, you have both been such a blessing to me in the short time we have known each other! Jesus is SO kind! HUGS..

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