Hope, Hope & Hope
“Enjoy! Rest! Allow yourself to hope- not expect- but definitely hope!!! Hope expresses desires but leaves all outcomes surrendered to His control! Expectations demand certain outcomes stifling hope. Hope my friend hope! You are in a great GOD place!!!! It’s all so good”
The above was from my friend Sarah Ott Deyton. She just sends you texts like this, it’s like having your very own Beth Moore on hand! And YES I realize I am blessed in all my friendships. My friend Sarah introduced me to one of her best friends here in LA, Katherine Wolf from Hope Heals (which I have spoke about before). I am starting to see a trend here, a theme you might call it.
Lindsay, you are allowed to HOPE.
You don’t have to live in fear anymore.
You don’t have to wonder when the other shoe will drop, you don’t have to fear your next suffering!
A) because fearing it won’t prevent it
B) I have good things for you Lindsay, you don’t have to just always be happy for everyone else.
As I write this I am hearing, “Lindsay don’t get ahead of yourself, what if things do fall apart, you shouldn’t be so confident that God has good things ahead for you”
LIAR LIAR LIAR. I want to say!
“Lindsay what about all the people suffering in the world, you should not be happy, you should be careful to talk about the blessings you have right now, because other people are hurting”
“I know” I say back to the voice in my head, “I know you are right, I shouldn’t be happy it’s just safer to expect the worst and then be delighted with the outcome if it is not bad.”
When I look at that thought on paper, it makes me sad, it makes me sad that I think like that, it’s just a sad way to live. It’s twisted and it’s a lie.
See this HOPE thing is really starting to sink in. I mean God is quietly putting it all around me. I never really knew what HOPE was, but I am thinking it might mean to look up, to lift my face to a good God and know that He is for me no matter what, that it is OK to believe that I don’t have to always be happy for everyone else. But that I can be happy for the beauty in the moment He has given me, for the blessings of my day and THAT is ok. That is good, that is healthy.
My friend Jason talks about the problem of hope being deferred and how the Bible says in Proverbs 13:12 that
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” English Standard Version
I don’t want my heart to be sick. I want my heart to Hope in Hope Himself. I want my heart to know that my Jesus is for me and is with me and yes has good things for me. I want to remember that yes there is nothing better than Him, but that I can hope and believe that I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living. Who am I kidding I already have, I have seen Him turn ashes to beauty time and time again in my life with one thing after another.
Is everything perfect? no, will everything ever be perfect, no!
But He is God, and I am not. I want to believe my Jesus is who He says He is and I want to believe He is good and all good and perfect gifts come from Him. No matter what my doubt and fear want to say! Even if the gifts are for a season.
I want HOPE to arise in my soul, my circumstances, my life, my future. I want HOPE to arise in yours as well!
I don’t know where you are currently, but my prayer is that the goodness of God will manifest in your life, whether it is His presence so thick that you can hardly contain it, or if it is that peace that really does not make sense, or maybe it is that desire you have had all your life that is currently being fulfilled. I pray that He will speak to you about this HOPE thing that I think He might be speaking to me!
I truly love you all so much and am thankful to be on this journey with you!
You are not alone!