The Lie and the Grip of Fear

As we talked about last time, there are these LIES that the enemy tells us from a young age! It’s sad, but it’s true, and it’s OK because our God, Jesus, came to destroy the works of the devil. 1 John 3:8

As we seek Him, we can overcome these lies and move forward with tons of peace, JOY, and love in our lives.

But first, we must confront these lies. We must look inside to see if we have in fact been lied to.

Lie#1. Unworthiness- which talked about in our last post- click here to read!

Lie#2. Fear- let’s deal with this TODAY!

Lie#3. Rejection

Lie#4. Abandonment

Lie#5. Identity

Lie#6. Confusion

Lie#7. Discouragement

Lie#9. Victimhood.

The devil comes only to kill, steal and destroy. John 10:10

But “I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly,” Jesus said.

I can only talk about these “lies” with a passion because I have dealt with each one very personally. And I believe our sweet God allowed it so I could encourage you that they can be overcome.  For it is God’s will for you to be FREE in Jesus Christ! John 8:32

So let’s continue!

Fear comes in many many many forms, but for this article, we are going to talk about the fear of men. As in guys!

You might think of it like fearing intimacy with men.

I had such a misunderstanding of men because I believed terrible lies about them for years.

One specific lie that I believed about men is that I wasn’t good enough for a man to really love me.

Anyone else?

When God started to reveal a way out for me, a way out of this “fear of intimacy, this fear that I wasn’t good enough,” it was well, scary.

One day a few years ago, I was journaling at my friend Sarah’s house in Atlanta, GA, I had a sense that the Lord was asking me to do online dating.

Now I had done this before- but in the most unhealthy way POSSIBLE, I was desperate and needy for love, because I hadn’t yet realized the healing power of the very real and tangible love of God through Jesus Christ.

So the idea of doing this again seemed SO UNHOLY to me. I was totally against it; I thought it meant I didn’t trust God.

“Lord this CANNOT be you, I need major confirmation if this is you,” I exclaimed.

My friend Sarah is the most AMAZING Bible Teacher ever, and I respect her opinion in a fierce way.

As I shared with her what I thought the Lord was showing me, she said, “Lindsay, although I am not an outspoken proponent of online dating typically, I think for you, with your history of fearing men, this could be a way for you to be more comfortable around men.”

She then said, “I would pray before you go, see what the Lord wants to show you.”

And crazy enough this lined up quite well with what Dr. Henry Cloud’s book talks about (mentioned in this post).

Dating is for learning about yourself and others and seeing what might be a good fit for a lifetime.

UGH.. it seemed horrifying to me to actually have to FACE MY FEAR. Well the LIE that caused the fear.

But here is the thing, when you still believe the lie, you don’t have much clarity that it is a lie. You aren’t sure why you do what you do or feel like you feel, it’s a lie, so it tends to cause confusion.

What I have come to learn is that it isn’t about a one size fits all, for some people online dating isn’t wise because they have different tendencies than I do. For instance, it’s not a good idea for me to drink alcohol anymore because I was an alcoholic. And I didn’t know it at the time, it seemed like I was just a really fun party girl, but I had a deep dependence on alcohol to cope with things I couldn’t handle.

So if a woman knows that her tendency with men is to indulge like I did with alcohol, to fill a void or cope in some way, then it’s probably NOT a good idea for that woman.

But sweet one, that is something to ask God in prayer, I believe He will show you because the Bible says He knows what we need even before we ask. Matthew 6:8

So let’s pause there for today.

And BE EXCITED and ENCOURAGED that the Lord is good, and His LOVE endures forever, even while we wait for whatever it is we are waiting for in this life.

“Father, I pray you pour out your love in a new and unique way to every person who reads this prayer. Father, I pray whether they have known You 5 minutes or 55 years, you show them a new side of YOUR love this week!”

Friend, you are dearly loved, you are His beloved. Allow yourself to be loved today, ask Your Heavenly Father to love you today and just keep your eyes open for how He shows you He adores you!

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