The Lie and the Grip of Fear

As we talked about last time, there are these LIES that the enemy tells us from a young age! It’s sad, but it’s true, and it’s OK because our God, Jesus, came to destroy the works of the devil. 1 John 3:8

As we seek Him, we can overcome these lies and move forward with tons of peace, JOY, and love in our lives.

But first, we must confront these lies. We must look inside to see if we have in fact been lied to.

Lie#1. Unworthiness- which talked about in our last post- click here to read!

Lie#2. Fear- let’s deal with this TODAY!

Lie#3. Rejection

Lie#4. Abandonment

Lie#5. Identity

Lie#6. Confusion

Lie#7. Discouragement

Lie#9. Victimhood.

The devil comes only to kill, steal and destroy. John 10:10

But “I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly,” Jesus said.

I can only talk about these “lies” with a passion because I have dealt with each one very personally. And I believe our sweet God allowed it so I could encourage you that they can be overcome.  For it is God’s will for you to be FREE in Jesus Christ! John 8:32

So let’s continue!

Fear comes in many many many forms, but for this article, we are going to talk about the fear of men. As in guys!

You might think of it like fearing intimacy with men.

I had such a misunderstanding of men because I believed terrible lies about them for years.

One specific lie that I believed about men is that I wasn’t good enough for a man to really love me.

Anyone else?

When God started to reveal a way out for me, a way out of this “fear of intimacy, this fear that I wasn’t good enough,” it was well, scary.

One day a few years ago, I was journaling at my friend Sarah’s house in Atlanta, GA, I had a sense that the Lord was asking me to do online dating.

Now I had done this before- but in the most unhealthy way POSSIBLE, I was desperate and needy for love, because I hadn’t yet realized the healing power of the very real and tangible love of God through Jesus Christ.

So the idea of doing this again seemed SO UNHOLY to me. I was totally against it; I thought it meant I didn’t trust God.

“Lord this CANNOT be you, I need major confirmation if this is you,” I exclaimed.

My friend Sarah is the most AMAZING Bible Teacher ever, and I respect her opinion in a fierce way.

As I shared with her what I thought the Lord was showing me, she said, “Lindsay, although I am not an outspoken proponent of online dating typically, I think for you, with your history of fearing men, this could be a way for you to be more comfortable around men.”

She then said, “I would pray before you go, see what the Lord wants to show you.”

And crazy enough this lined up quite well with what Dr. Henry Cloud’s book talks about (mentioned in this post).

Dating is for learning about yourself and others and seeing what might be a good fit for a lifetime.

UGH.. it seemed horrifying to me to actually have to FACE MY FEAR. Well the LIE that caused the fear.

But here is the thing, when you still believe the lie, you don’t have much clarity that it is a lie. You aren’t sure why you do what you do or feel like you feel, it’s a lie, so it tends to cause confusion.

What I have come to learn is that it isn’t about a one size fits all, for some people online dating isn’t wise because they have different tendencies than I do. For instance, it’s not a good idea for me to drink alcohol anymore because I was an alcoholic. And I didn’t know it at the time, it seemed like I was just a really fun party girl, but I had a deep dependence on alcohol to cope with things I couldn’t handle.

So if a woman knows that her tendency with men is to indulge like I did with alcohol, to fill a void or cope in some way, then it’s probably NOT a good idea for that woman.

But sweet one, that is something to ask God in prayer, I believe He will show you because the Bible says He knows what we need even before we ask. Matthew 6:8

So let’s pause there for today.

And BE EXCITED and ENCOURAGED that the Lord is good, and His LOVE endures forever, even while we wait for whatever it is we are waiting for in this life.

“Father, I pray you pour out your love in a new and unique way to every person who reads this prayer. Father, I pray whether they have known You 5 minutes or 55 years, you show them a new side of YOUR love this week!”

Friend, you are dearly loved, you are His beloved. Allow yourself to be loved today, ask Your Heavenly Father to love you today and just keep your eyes open for how He shows you He adores you!

The Lies That Entangle Us… Series!

#GuySchool

In case you’re new to the blog! #GuySchool is a special section on here for singles.  Look up, look to the middle and look for #guyschool

I am posting this next #guyschool series on the main blog because it’s about things that all humans deal with, so think of it from whatever context you find yourself in…

#lecture#3

In our last little #guyschool lecture we talked about –looking inside a bit.

The reason: something might be holding us back that we don’t even realize.

See, the devil, he is a liar, and unfortunately a powerful liar. Jesus called him “the Father of lies.” He is real, and he starts early in our lives, planting seeds of unworthiness, fear, rejection, abandonment, identity, confusion, discouragement, and victimhood. He comes only to kill, steal and destroy. John 10:10

So we are going to start from the beginning of this list of issues above and work our way through it over the next several months.

I like to share my testimony with you because the Bible clearly says “We overcome the enemy by the blood of the Lamb (JESUS) and the word of our testimony” Revelation 12:11

Now, let’s start with you, Unworthiness!

It was a few months into my “walking through the fear of marriage with God,” as I found myself laying on the floor crying. Hard.

I heard The Spirit of God (Holy Spirit) softly whisper to my heart “Lindsay, it’s up to you, you know that marriage is not all rainbows and puppy dogs but you have to decide, do you want to get married or not?”  I had a sense; he was asking me.

It was one of the most painful experiences to actually dig into my soul and ask myself, “was I willing to TRUST in this area?” This area that for some reason was hardest for me? My heart!

The fear was SO deep, the fear of marriage that is, well the fear was really of abandonment and rejection. I thought if I got married, I would risk being abandoned and/or rejected, so it kept me from wanting to get married. But we will get to those (abandonment and rejection) later.

38 believing lies and they were deep and holding on with everything. It hurt, bad, but after a tear-filled evening, I got it out, “yes, Lord, even if it is hard, I do desire to be married.”

That was two years ago and that evening broke something deep within my soul.  And at the same time started something. An even deeper healing of sorts, led by the Lord.

I completely recognize that some of you are thinking “that’s nice for you Lindsay, but I have been praying for my husband for 40 years.”

And I hear you, I have dear, dear friends who would say just that, and they are AMAZING catches for some SMART MAN some day! But see the lie can sneak in, it can hold us back in all kinds of different ways.

I share my story because I don’t pretend to know everyone’s, but if you want to share yours, email me!

ok, back to the story! A few weeks later, as I was boarding a plane, I heard a still small voice say “it was just good old fashion unworthiness Lindsay.” I didn’t even ask a question, but the words just came to me.

I stopped half way down the aisle of the plane and thought to myself, ” Wait, WHAT?” WHAT?”

I was shaking.

I wanted to scream “THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!!!!!!!”

I couldn’t believe yet again; I had fallen for such a SIMPLE lie for 38 YEARS.

I had asked the question a thousand times before; “why-why-why am I so scared of marriage, men and relationships?”

And it was at that moment; He chose to show me and I couldn’t comprehend how it could be so simple.

“Unworthiness, Unworthiness, that is the reason for the trauma and torment I have been through all these years, UNWORTHINESS?”

A simple, seemingly insignificant thing like unworthiness had held me captive ALL THESE YEARS.

I was speechless. The “issue” seemed so complex to me, “it couldn’t be that simple I thought.”

But here is the thing: the devil is a liar and I hate him. And that is why I come to you with this little story.

I am tired of the lies holding people captive, making them believe things that JUST AREN’T TRUE.

I know the feeling of lies FEELING really real, but friends, if what we hear or think about ourselves doesn’t line up with what our Father in Heaven says that we are through Jesus Christ, it just isn’t true. I want to encourage you to seek the Lord, your loving Heavenly Father and ask Him.

“Father, is unworthiness something I struggle with?

shhhhhhhhhh, just listen.

Let your AMAZING Heavenly Father tell you if maybe you believe you are UNWORTHY of what you truly desire, it could be hindering you, if it is hiding within you.

The Bible says “His sheep hear His voice.” I believe that means, His sheep, us, hear His voice, Him.

Here are a few resources to learn more about how to hear His voice for yourself.

http://amzn.to/29G6j4Y  -Hearing God’s Voice- Henry and Richard Blackaby

http://amzn.to/1VNCyUV – Hearing God- Dallas Willard

http://amzn.to/29YHOme – Discerning the Voice of God- Priscilla Shirer

http://amzn.to/29G6KfD – How to Hear from God- Joyce Meyer

I have not read all of the above, so use your discernment, read the reviews, these are all Bible teachers I enjoy, but they are human, and they may differ in opinion. One thing I have ZERO doubt about is, Jesus came to set you FREE.

John 8:32
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

And the truth is, YOU.ARE.WORTHY!

Love Always,

Linds

Ps. if you want to dig in more to this subject of unworthiness, click here! 

Suffering Leads to Hope-Hope that Heals

As night fell I couldn’t see where I was going, my phone was dying and my GPS kept leading me down the wrong roads. I remember reciting Psalm 23, as I drove.

Finally arriving at a little cabin in the woods, I walked into a room full of girls around my age and this one particular girl who Sarah (my friend leading the retreat) had spoken a lot about named Katherine Wolf.

As Katherine spoke about her near death experience, I sat still without taking a breath, it was intense, but she had this uncanny faith that made me wonder “how could she have so much faith when she has been through so much pain?”

I didn’t understand it, but it struck me deep, “there had to be more to this Jesus than I currently understood, He had to be more real than I had yet experienced.” Holding onto “Jesus” is one thing when life is going well, but then remaining in that after almost all has been lost was profound to me.

The word “hope” was not a word that informed my life, for me it was more like “hide and survive”. Hide from the pain and just try to make it through life.

But 6 years after that retreat, I sit here in LA privileged to work with Jay and Katherine Wolf and their ministry Hope Heals.

I never thought about the truth that Hope can actually heal you. It’s true and may look different than it does for Katherine, for me healing is more emotional than physical, it can also be mental or spiritual.

We all need healing in one way or another and the good news is, there is healing to be had.

Katherine and Jay’s story is an AMAZING book now. It is such a testimony of a God who does not leave us in the dark, even when all seems lost.

Katherine had her greatest moment of despair in brain rehab as she told God that everyone’s life would be better if she was gone, if she would have died, she said “Jay could marry a normal women and James could have a normal mommy,” but before that thought could fully land she was struck by a “dispatch from God” that went something like this…

Katherine, I am God you are not. There is a purpose in all of this. Just wait. You’ll see. There is no replacing you. Jay could never, ever marry a woman as amazing as you. James could never have a mommy like you. Think about what this will mean for his life. Mommy’s stroke will always be a part of his story. That is a gift to him. It will inform his life. Let him consider it pure joy as he grows. All of this will teach him in ways beyond anything you could say or do. 

Trust Me. I am working out EVERYTHING for your good. Don’t doubt this truth just because you are in the darkness now. What’s true in the light is true in the dark. I know you can’t fight this. That doesn’t matter. All you have to do is be still and let Me fight for you. I will complete the good work I began when I gave you new life. I will carry it on to completion. Believe that. My nature is to redeem and restore and strengthen. This terrible season will come to an end. You will suffer for a little while and then I will carry you out of this. 

You will see My goodness in the land of the living. Lean into this hope. Let it teach you how special you are.

Katherine has a bunch of favorite passages of scripture, but two that give me hope are…

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Hebrews 6:19

This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil.

To purchase this book click here OR to win a free signed copy, leave a comment below with your favorite encouraging scripture verse.

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Hey, Fear, My God is Near

Hey Fear, my God is near.
Have you guys heard that song, so good! I will put a link to it at the end of this article! 
 
Recently, a friend of mine sent me a message super excited about major break through people were getting at a prayer meeting at church. He was so pumped; because there is nothing more beautiful than watching people get free from lies and things that hold them captive.
 
He knew about all the sickness I had been having over the past month; it was one thing after another and with each “pain” a truckload of fear came barreling in behind it. I felt completely nuts for having a ‘DIFFERENT’ pain every other day; it was obnoxious.
 
I, then, started to get a little insight, that this was deeper than just a mysterious physical pain. I knew the root was spiritual, and the culprit was fear.
 
My friend’s next message to me said, “Lindsay, do you want to take care of that fear tonight?” 
 
Without a second thought, I said: “of course.”  
I then got a series of texts from him, saying:
1. Recognize -Recognize the fear (or whatever ‘it’ is)
2. Responsibility- take responsibility before God for your partnership with fear
3. Repent- Repent to the Father in the name of Jesus
4. Renounce- Renounce fear in the name of Jesus
5. Remove it!
6. Resist it- When it tries to come back 2 Cor 10:5- take every thought captive and submit it to the will of Christ
7. Rejoice- now that you are free, give God thanks and Praise 
8. Restore- restore someone else
 
Next text: “ask the Father to tell you what you need to repent of specifically concerning fear, could it be movies, men, past experiences any place where you’ve partnered with fear and allowed the enemy to establish his kingdom?”-
 
Next text:  “no condemnation just responsibility and you will receive forgiveness so quickly it will blow your mind.” 
Clear as day these words came to my mind “foundation, protection and security.”  
 
I repented. I quietly said, “OH Lord, forgive me for making my foundation in life fear instead of you and for seeing fear as my protector and security because that is you, I was wrong.”
 
The Bible is so clear:
 
1 Corinthians 3:11 NASB
For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
 
Jesus is my foundation as a believer, and I had made fear my foundation by accident. Thankfully the Bible says “we can ask for wisdom from God, and He will give it to us without measure.” James 1:5
 
My friend then said maybe it was a guiding spirit to a false comforter, and it was like I won the lottery, that was it. 
 
I was putting fear in place of the Holy Spirit.
 
The Holy Spirit is our Helper; the Bible says in John 14:26, but I had been giving fear that place in my life. Fear was the one assisting me in every decision I made.
 
But not anymore!
 
I was free! I knew it. I woke up the next day with so much joy I had not known. 
 
In Psalm 51 David cries to God for repentance for the pattern of sin he engaged in following his transgressions with Bathsheba. He offers us a picture of what repentance should look like in our lives.
 
1.    David acknowledges his sin
2.    He asks for forgiveness
3.    He then asks God to renew him
4.    Finally, he asks God to help him to teach others 
 
Sounds familiar doesn’t it.
 
What is it that you need to ask God’s forgiveness of tonight? Ask the Lord in prayer what you need to repent of.
 
Go ahead: REPENT and BE CLEANSED. 

Getting Back to Intimacy

I love God’s grace, because as we wonder off into the teachings and opinions of others and slightly stray from our intimacy with Jesus, Father God and Holy Spirit, He lightly warns us.
Do you hear the warning?
As I continue my battle with the sin of fear.
I write down scripture after scripture from the Bible on why I should not fear.
Fear including worry and anxious thoughts.
It’s all ROOTED in fear.
Like those “super healthy people” (as I like to refer to them), you know the ones that talk a lot about “getting to the root of the cause of the health issue.”
I am kind of like them, but a believer in healing the soul and that also entails getting to the root and digging it out (ps. this sometimes hurts) BUT man does it have AMAZING results on the other side.
Fear is the (root) cause of all of the following:
1. Insecurity
2. Inadequacy
3. Inferiority Complex
4. Timidity
5. Worry/Anxiety
6. Sensitivity
7. Fear of Authority
8. Terror
9. Trauma
10. Torment/Horror
11. Nightmares
12. Panic Attacks
13. Phobias
14. Nervousness
15. Abandonment
16. Procrastination
As I pray, journal and write, I cry out to the Lord “this fear, it has me trapped, I am stuck, I can’t get out.”
He kindly reminds me of 2 things!
1. The only thing Biblically you are allowed to fear is ME!
yikes: I know this–
2. Fear is a sin–
it is an addiction, no different than food, alcohol, drugs or porn.
Fear is a sin, and you are addicted to it, Lindsay.
It is not a disease Lindsay; it’s a sin and you, my little overcomer, can conquer it because of Jesus setting you free from the slavery of sin. (Romans 8:2). Treat fear like sin Lindsay. Treat it like an addiction because it is.
It’s not ok Lindsay, even though it feels valid, you are enslaved, and I have a better way for you. Freedom is available. I know you don’t know life without it, but I promise if you trust me I will show you the way out. But you can’t trust me if you don’t know me. I am your good Shepard walk with me Lindsay let me show you the way to greener pastures.
{My name is Lindsay, and I am addicted to FEAR}
Fear is comfortable for me; I can hide behind it.
Most of us have some addiction, be it people pleasing, work, ministry (or the typical ones I mentioned above)
But be careful to let ANYTHING take the place of your intimate, personal relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The lie we are believing is that fear will protect us, but it is quite the opposite, fear will keep us from all God has for us, and the truth is GOD is the one who will protect us! Stay close to Him!
He warned me about it, and I think He wants me to remind you!