The More on LOVE!

Ok, I know this isn’t what you thought I was going to say and to be honest I didn’t know what I was going to say until I sat down with the Lord last night…….

I did know God wanted me to step out of my fear “of acting weird” brought on partly by my deep insecurity…. I knew because scripture is clear ”For God hath {has} not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

So that was clear, but I didn’t know exactly where we were going (aka the very name of my blog comes rushing back to hit me upside the head) Put the Pencil Down Lindsay, don’t assume what I am doing – I can just hear God saying….

Sometimes (actually often) I get these big ideas on where God may be headed, I am not positive He switches it up a bit to see if I will follow Him, but it would be interesting to see if I would listen and follow. Or if I would just mosey on in the direction I THOUGHT He was taking me and miss the very point of what He might be trying to teach me. Am I alone here?

I knew God wanted me to date, I just didn’t know it was Him that He wanted me to date.

This isn’t actually new. I use to have Jesus dates all the time when I lived in Atlanta and that is actually where I experienced so much healing of my broken wounded soul. He taught me so much about what love really was, what receiving love really looked like. It healed MANY deep deep things within me.

He is actually Love! 1 John 4:8 HA who better to teach us?

I KNOW I KNOW! All of you singles are like “Lindsay PLEASE”

{I can hear you!}

But I am not trying to be super holy here, I am being super honest!

And just to show you that I am not crazy or alone in this, read this amazing story….CLICK HERE you can just hit the back arrow when you are done! Cuz we aren’t done!


Your back, OK, let’s continue..

When I first got to LA I wasn’t all the way prepared for the transition and I gripped firmly onto my life and was scared to let go.

I then had a dear mentor tell me that my extreme struggle and fear may have come from the fact that I wasn’t really prepared for what a move like this could be like spiritually speaking. She said “Lindsay I know you had a wonderful, supportive community in Atlanta and I think you found a lot of your security in them. When you moved out here you thought your security was in your community so you ran around this city for months looking for that community and you forgot that your security was ALWAYS in God and as soon as you put Him first again your community and everything else will flow from there”

OH MY WORD. Girlfriend was right on! I knew it the moment she said it! What she said hit me like a ton of bricks.

In a good way!

As God, my mentor and I have been talking more and more about dating outside of Him, He reminded me that He is perfect love and I need to come to Him and He will show me so that I can surely recognize it when that time comes.

Here is the thing, I just don’t bare my soul across the internet because it’s fun, writing actually heals my soul and my  prayer is that reading it actually heals yours.

Let’s go on this journey together, becoming students of Love Himself!!! So much more to talk about in regards to love. It will be fun! I have no doubt!




Was it really good old fashion unworthiness?

Was it that simple?

All these years?

I wanted to stand up on the airplane and yell “the DEVIL is a LIAR” when the reality popped into my head.

I love my life and I actually had to get really real with the Almighty in Heaven and ask myself, “do I really want to get married or am I ok and content being single?”

The answer after much deep reflection, prayer and tears was YES, YES I do. Even though I know it is not rainbows and puppy dogs 24-7 the answer is still YES, I do desire marriage. But not in a desperate way, I have been desperate for “love” before and that never ends up well. This time, it started with a question, a question that I had to settle in myself, reach into the deep of deep and ask myself. Do I REALLY desire marriage?

The answer was YES.

The question then remained, what keeps holding me back from entering in? To even dating let’s say?

Ever sense I met Jesus 6 1/2 years ago I was “the girl” that often said “I trust Jesus SO much that I believe He can bring my husband to my front door, I mean He created the universe.”

Which I do believe He could, I mean He is God, but in every other area of faith He asks us to “step out of the boat,” why did I think in this instance I could sit on my couch and wait for my dude to show up?

The truth is, the Lord recently revealed to me that I indeed may have unintentionally used that “strong faith” as a cover up, to protect myself.

I have passed up many opportunities in my life to “enter in” and it was out of FEAR.  But then I had to walk through many of my fears (and it was not a cake walk to say the least).  I thought I had overcome, I thought I was ready and open to dating.

But then I found myself being really weird in front of guys.

If they were cute (in my eyes) I was weird, if I didn’t find them attractive, I was weird. It was all very weird.

I needed and wanted to get to the bottom of this.

So, I prayed, I cried, I asked the One who created me, “Lord, what is it, dig it out even if it hurts, I know there is something off here”

As I sat on the plane over a month ago, my sanctuary in the sky I realized, wait.

I feel completely unworthy of a good marriage, or a husband I am attracted too.


Could this whole mess be good (I say that with sarcasm) old fashion unworthiness?


It’s that simple?

The Bible says “there is nothing new under the sun” Ecclesiastes 1:9

When I looked up the word worthy in the dictionary it said “having good enough qualities to be considered important”


WHO died for ME!

The Spirit of the Living, God lives in me, because of Jesus.

How dare the liar, the devil, the Father of lies, lie to me all these years.

God is working on me and digging out some things that are holding me back from just being Lindsay and not thinking so hard about the rest. I plan to share this journey with you, slightly awkward, but that is usually how I blog (almost too honest for comfort)

More to come on Lindsay “stepping over her fears and in “it” with Jesus” It will for sure be a journey! But this time, I know it is good and I have to trust God with ALL of my heart.

One step at a time! It’s all anyone of us can really do! Holding His hand walking with Him step by step! Putting our ear so close to Him, keeping our eyes on Jesus (The Word made flesh), in the Word of God and leaving all else out of it.

God is our Creator, the rest, the rest of this world was created by Him. He is the final authority in all things! We get the choice to believe that or not.

As I was preparing to post this a friend suggested I share some of the ways I have had to fight this unworthiness in my life, although the fight is still raging, the best “advice” I can provide is to first understand who you are in Christ. Your new identity in Him as a believer. I would start here!

Not sure what I mean by believer, read here!

See you next time as we journey together through the LIES that hold us down!

No More, Child of the Living God! No more!

Prayers for Freedom Click Here




Let’s talk about LOVE

I have been talking so much about fear lately it is time to talk about what sends fear screaming out the door. love!

The Bible says “Perfect LOVE casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18

Amen to that.

I believe with all my heart that love, the love of the Perfect Father in Heaven is what changes people. It changed me and it also changed my friend.

And the cool thing is, He offers it to everyone. Every.Single.Person who chooses to receive His love, through His Son Jesus Christ.

All are adopted into His family, when we choose to see our sin for what it is, sin, and then ask for forgiveness, we are saved. We are saved, covered and changed, by Jesus Christ, the son of the living God and then grafted into His family as sons and daughters of yes, the living God. No matter the sin or the past, you (who choose to believe) are in right relationship with God the Father because of King Jesus!

It’s called GRACE……


(for more on this click here)

now for the LOVE story! 

A dear dear friend (sister actually) you know a sister friend of mine -always points back to a time when her and I were exploring the things of God and ended up in this random upstairs apartment in the middle of Midtown Atlanta. We were there to hear this women speak who ran an orphanage in India. We were sitting on hard floors for hours because her way of talking about God, Jesus and Holy Spirit were so new to my friend and I we could have stayed all night to listen.  We were captivated!

Her stories of straight up miracles were “eyes wide open, mouth on the floor” type of miracles.

As we left and walked down stairs, I will never forget my friend turning to me and saying “I can’t believe God adopts us into His family.”

I think I was still thinking about the miracles and how crazy but amazing they were, but I didn’t really pick up on what she picked up on.

See my friend had lost her mother when she was just 6 years old and when she heard the women speak on Ephesians 1:5

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” NLT

……it changed something in her.

Still today, actually just last night she said the very same thing and has for years now. “I am just so thankful for God’s love for me, I just can’t thank Him enough for being my Father and loving me so much!”

I would say that my friend has a deep and profound revelation of the Father’s love for her and she would probably tell you that it is indeed what shifted something big in her heart and in her mind and therefore in her life.

The LOVE of Father God.

She actually lost her earthly father 2 ½ years ago just 6 months before her wedding, but we both knew that her Heavenly Father was the One who was walking before her down the aisle to meet her husband, whom will actually be a father himself in just a few short days. A little boy they will be having, who may be a father himself one day. But more important than that, we pray that little Noah will have the same profound revelation of the Father’s love that His mamma does.

Because Love, perfect unconditional love that all humans need, is actually God Himself. The Bible speaks so clearly that God IS Love. Just stop and think about that. God is love. God created us, He can’t help but love us and He created the need in every human heart for love, some find love on earth and that is a gift from God. The things is God created every.single.human to need and thrive in love. And since He created the universe and every person on earth, He created us all to need what He is. Which is LOVE.

I just want to scream and shout, THAT IS SO COOL!

If you want to ask to be in the family of God, here is a short guide for what to pray to receive Jesus Christ as a covering for your sins and to be reconciled back to Father God in right relationship. He is waiting for you to ASK!

Jesus, I need you. I need your life and your love. I believe you are the Son of God. I believe that your death on the cross was for me– to rescue me from sin and death and to restore me to the Father in Heaven. I choose right now to surrender my life to you. I turn from my sin and my self-determination, and I give my life to you. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me. Come and take your rightful place in my heart and in my life. Be my Savior and my Lord. Live in me; live through me. I am yours

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