In my mind I simply asked Jesus

I was recently at a silent retreat and one of our leaders led us through an exercise, she proceeded to tell us to close our eyes and imagine Jesus walking towards us.

She then said “Jesus is going to ask you for something, ” and she wanted us to ask Him what He wanted that we were holding onto!

I tend to write down my questions, concerns and prayers to Jesus in my journal and then write what I sense He is telling me! Am I always right, probably NOT, but is it still worth the exercise? I do think so!

In this particular situation I especially believe it was Jesus, because what was revealed to me was something that was very true about me, but I would not have admitted to myself!!? because it wasn’t real pretty!

In my mind I simply asked Jesus what He wanted me to give Him and heard Him in my heart clearly say:

“Your independence”

I was a little surprised to say the least, that was NOT was I was thinking!

(note* Jesus had been peeling back some layers of a fear that I had for many years and I think this was one more layer of my fear of marriage)

Below is our conversation directly from my journal:

Me: Jesus, I am giving you my independence, my need to do it all alone!

Jesus: It’s ok baby girl, I am with you and I don’t want you to have to do it all alone, you don’t have too

Me: I don’t want too, but I am scared

Jesus: What are you scared of sweetie

Me: I am scared to let someone else take care of me

Jesus: Why?

Me: I don’t know what if they don’t know how?

Me: What if I am not good at letting them? What if I find out it is my fault?

Jesus: What is your fault?

Me: What if I am not good enough? What if they bug me?

Jesus: Why would they bug you?

Me: (it was blank)

Jesus: You don’t think I will give you grace Lindsay

Me: You hear all these bad stories Jesus, you hear how hard marriage is even with Christian people.

Jesus: but don’t you long for it Lindsay

Me: I think so; I think in the depths of my being I do Jesus

Jesus: You listen for the bad things, you are always trying to make a case against marriage or for independence like independence means you are better, it’s like pride.

Me: UGH! I think I want it but I think people who want marriage are weak and can’t do it themselves like I am stronger because I can! PRIDE…. PRIDE….

Me: Lord, I give you my pride, thinking I am better alone or better than others because I want to be alone almost like victim mentality! WHAT! Lord this IS crazy, please take this pride from me, PLEASE Lord!

——– End Journal Entry

I use to get really confused on which thoughts were mine, which were from Jesus and which were from the enemy, but I believe this was my Shepherd, walking me towards repentance and exposing some pride and fear in me, that were truthfully holding me back!

I love God, because He knows us better than we know ourselves, the Bible says, He knows every hair on our head! He knows what we need before we ask! He is a good God and He wants to reveal these hidden things in you also and the great part is, it is all in LOVE. He wants us to be FREE from all the YUCK!




Our Father in Heaven, He Knew

It’s like our Father in Heaven KNEW how important a loving Father would truly be to the well being of His people.

He created us, so He knew!!

He also knew that man (woman) would sin and fall short, He knew we would live in a world that was severely broken.

He knew He would send His son Jesus Christ into the world to reconcile the human race back to Himself!

He knew! Even before time began, that He (our Father in Heaven) would call us sons and daughters and we would call Him Father.

In the Bible it explains that we are adopted into His family as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Romans 8:15 and Epes. 1:5

Father’s Day, it’s an interesting day for many people! It’s a day to honor the Fathers in our life, some have several some have none. It can be a day of great thankfulness and for others a day of great sadness.

Our Father in Heaven is a Perfect Father who cares about the details of our lives! He created us, He adores us, He weeps with us when we weep, He blesses us often, but we don’t usually give Him credit. James 1:17 says that ALL good things come from the Father of Heavenly Lights, but we don’t always give Father God credit for those small and big blessings. What if we did, what if we just looked up to our Heavenly Father when something big or something very small happens that is good and said “Thank YOU Father”

Our Father in Heaven says He will never leave us or forsake us! Never!

I love my dad here on earth, I love my grandad’s who are now both in heaven, I love my step-dad, I love my brother-in-law who is a great dad to my precious niece and one day I will love the father of my children and the father in law that God blesses me with, but no one will ever compare to the LOVE, the unconditional, ever perfect love of my Perfect Creator who LOVES me so much that He told me to call Him Father!

And the amazing part is, no matter where your earthly father is, no matter how amazing or how terrible he was to you, we all have the opportunity to get to know, be loved by and love a Perfect Heavenly Father THAT IS indeed interested more than you can imagine.

Walk towards Him and see, take a step in His direction, He is waiting with His arms wide open!

Click below to read more about YOUR Perfect Heavenly Father who really loves and adores you!

More on- God’s precious thoughts about you… click here

More on- God’s healing LOVE….click here

More on-The Father’s Love (Father God this is talking about)…click here

More on-Your Heavenly Father IS interested… click here





Your Heavenly Father IS interested

I write because it helps me, it’s kind of like free therapy! I connect with my Heavenly Father by writing, so I LOVE it with my whole heart! Sometimes it is good to share, hoping maybe it will help someone like you! But other times it is just for me, to work through the thoughts in my head!

If you don’t journal, I suggest you try it. I just scribble out all the things in my head like I am writing to God, sometimes I go on and on, but the good thing is, my Heavenly Father is interested! The Bible says I am the apple of His eye! AND so are YOU!

I use to send Him emails and text messages too, especially when I was desperate for Him and felt He was far.

The Bible says in Deuteronomy 31:6 that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

I know this, but sometimes my “feelings” make me “think” He is far from me.

It is just not true!

{Warning} this might sound weird! 🙂 One time I put GOD in my phone contacts and then typed my own phone number in there, so I could just shoot off a text to Him, whenever.  I just had to remind myself how accessible He really was to me.

I also use to “email” Him, when I would get upset. I would basically email myself, but talk to God! {call me crazy, but it helped me to remember the One who loves me and cares about me the MOST}

There is SOMETHING about getting “it” out of your head and into God’s hands. It is prayer, it just looks a little different than we traditionally think!

The Bible also says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”!

This is my favorite verse because it reminds me of my part of the communication.

This past week, I was “feeling” far from God and then just at the right time, someone pointed me back to scripture, basically instead of listening to me complain about feeling far from God, he just text me 3 books of the Bible.

At first I thought “does he want me to read these, right now?” and well the answer was YES.  He knew the only thing that would help was God and the best way to seek God is to read what He says.

God’s Word is living and active and it is our daily bread! No wonder I felt far from God, I didn’t feel like reading my Bible, but after I did what my friend suggested, I felt better, I felt more in tune with my Heavenly Father.

He is our Father in Heaven, He wants to spend time with us! Why do I forget?

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