I use to believe the girls in the fancy boutiques who would tell me “that outfit” looked so good on me. Or the new hairstylist who said, “oh yeah you need to do your hair this way, it frames your face” when inside, I didn’t agree, but I was so insecure that I thought “well they must know better than me”
I actually thought a random person knew better than me about how I felt I looked.
That’s called deep insecurity.
Why would I care what someone else thinks? If I feel pretty, shouldn’t that be all that matters? Oh yeah, people pleasing combined with deep insecurity.
But tonight I had a victory, and I love those little victories between us and the Lord. Our Heavenly Daddy loves seeing His kids get free from all wrong thinking, even if it is one little victory at a time. He sent His son so we would be free!
Tonight I was walking through Macy’s trying to get to the parking lot and out of nowhere a girl confidently asked me, “can I show you something”? Usually I am pretty good at being kind and buzzing right by, but this girl had some solid sales skills and before I knew it she was telling me about my eyebrows and painting something on them. I couldn’t get a word in to tell her I had no money and no intention of buying this product. After she was done, she led me to the mirror and I exclaimed “oh no no no, no girl, I don’t do my eyebrows like that, you are sweet, but no, that is not cute” I couldn’t even pretend, it looked scary.
Now as a recovering people pleaser, that was a victory. Yes believe it or not. As an insecure girl who hated herself for years and hated even more the way she looked (talking about me here) that was a HUGE VICTORY. But even after my horror, the make-up sales ninja said “oh I think it looks great on you” those dreaded words that want to creep in and try to manipulate you. But this time I was like “oh no, honey, that doesn’t look good on me, oh wow, no”
As I continued through the store, I kept passing mirrors and glancing over at my new, extra long, slightly scary eyebrows and smiling that THIS TIME, I won. This time I realized that I knew better than the random person. This time I had enough confidence to know what looks good on me and what doesn’t. This time, I remembered that everything that anyone says to me is for MY CONSIDERATION and I considered that make-up tip a nono. And I knew it was a victory over my past insecure thinking.
I use to listen to what EVERYONE said about me, good, bad or ugly and believe it. And let me tell you, that was exhausting.
It’s exhausting to listen to people’s opinions and try to figure out who is right and who is wrong, I would tend to take in what people said as truth, no matter what they said. I never knew until about a year ago that everything anyone said, was for me to consider. That honestly changed my world. I got to choose whether I agreed with you or kindly didn’t agree with you.
The love of the Heavenly Father is so real and tangible, it is for us to walk in every moment of the day, the question becomes do we believe about ourselves what our Heavenly Father says about us? Or do we believe what others say about us?
I have an idea, I did this a few years ago and it was really really amazing. I want to challenge you to do it too.
Sit down and write a Love Letter from God to you. I am serious. Share with me if you want too. I will feature some on my facebook page. Or not. You don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want too.
But definitely do it.
When I did it, I was pretty new to my relationship with God and I didn’t really know what God said about me, so I went to His Word. It was so fun and exhilarating to search His scriptures with the help of good old google to see just what the Father says about His children, about me!
Thanks Jan (my first mentor) for having me do this, it was awesome and so are you.
Biggest Hugs Everyone,
Let’s conquer insecurity so we are not talked into things we aren’t sure we want in life.
As this year comes to an end, another one is about to begin.
AH! 2016, the goals, the plans, the “time away” trips with God for planning and resolutions, praying and reflecting.
My friend Sarah recently told me about how King David in one of his epic stories in the Bible had to strengthen himself in the Lord. And one of the ways he did so, was to reflect on God’s faithfulness in his life.
I think I rediscovered the power of reflection the other night, when my friend Kelly asked me how I ended up in LA. As I started to recount the years before I moved, I was amazed at how retelling the story in it’s entirety was like watching a movie of my own life. At points I was shocked as I noticed God’s faithfulness to keep me going in the direction He had for me despite my often imperfect cooperation and my out right, “Jonah moments”.
Our God was faithful to turn me back around when I went the wrong direction and calm my anxious thoughts when I straight up, freaked out.
He seems to confirm things in amazing ways. He teaches and disciplines like a good Father, and loves us through it all. He gives us a tad bit of the story and then watches us try to make it happen or figure it out and then quietly says “oh dear child I never asked you to figure it out, I asked you to trust Me”
OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. I am thankful that You are gracious Lord and full of mercy because I am sometimes (often) a wandering, controlling soul.
I think it’s fun and EYES wide open crazy to get out your Instagram, go back to the beginning of 2015 and recount the time you have had, the good, bad and ugly, the learning from each season, the little or maybe BIG victories you encountered.
It will encourage you that:
A. He is with you always, through it all
B. He is in control even if you think you are
C. He does it in and through us and has many things to show us along the journey
D. He ultimately is the One to trust here on this earth, mainly because He really created it.
Let’s reflect, let’s use social media to help us walk down memory lane with Jesus, let’s retell the story of our year, to ourselves, so we can be encouraged for the year ahead.
Emmanuel means God with us! That is the very gift of Christmas.
We love you Jesus, thank you for being with us, we can’t do it without you.
I didn’t think I needed to be there. I almost felt guilty and silly all at the same time. I was at a retreat where the subject was rest.
“Lindsay you have been resting for 8 months, you are hardly the one who needs rest” I heard in my head. It was like I was taking the spot of someone who really needed rest. For instance, my sister who has two children under the age of 3 or my countless other friends who have multiple tiny humans zipping around. Me, rest,? “I think I have that down Lord.”
Until Sarah started to talk about how ‘rest’ was actually about your soul resting IN Christ. Now that, I defiantly needed to hear. Sarah started by asking if anyone knew what the ‘soul’ comprised of, I suddenly blurted out in front of 60 girls, “Mind Will and Emotions” I knew that one.
I have witnessed my mind, will and emotions lead me pretty much all of my life and since “let go Lindsay, STOP trying to figure things out Lindsay” has been the theme of my year, I knew I was appointed to be right where I was…
Emotions and I go round and round and I usually end up flat out on the kitchen floor.
The mind is a GREAT gift, but when we try to figure things out instead of trusting God, walking closely, listening and trusting Him above ourselves or others, the mind can lead us into places we were never meant to go.
8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in humans.
Humans (includes ourselves)
Sarah kept talking about resting in Christ. Resting in the fact that He is God and well we are not, He knows best and well we don’t. Resting in the surrendering of ‘the how’ of the next season and maybe even surrendering the ‘why’ of the last season.
Maybe it’s not up to us, maybe He really is big enough to do it all in and through us, maybe our action is to behold Him, abide in Him, do as we see Him do and say what we hear Him say? Never acting out of guilt or shame, cuz that’s not God.
19 Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever[a]the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.
9 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
God is love, Jesus is God. Remain in His love!
8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Looking to Him to look like Him. Letting Him work in and through us as we stay surrendered, as we abide and STOP all the self effort, because usually that self effort is attached to some kind of earning God’s love or quest for identity.
Instead what if we said “I can’t do this Lord, please do it in and through me, I am here, I am willing, I am your vessel, here to hang onto you, because you are the Vine and I am the branch. Fruit will come as I hang onto you, I am yours and you are mine, but without you I have nothing to offer”
“What if my strength was spent hanging onto You Lord, instead of trying to do what only You can do in and through me anyway?”
4 Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;
Not from ourselves (aka. self-effort) because it will soon run us right into a brick wall, guessing some of you have met that brick wall.
Thank you Sarah Ott Deyton, for resting in Christ and bearing MUCH fruit. You will always be the wikipedia of the Bible to me!
For more on her teaching check out www.SarahOttDeyton.com
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