Confusion! Who Told You That?

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I sat in a SOZO appointment recently (Holy Spirit led therapy as I like to call it) and I rambled about my confusion regarding this guy I thought was super cute and sweet. As I had recently released more and more fear in this area of men, dating, marriage and my heart condition in it all, I heard the nice lady say:

“I think you are using confusion as a way to protect yourself from getting hurt.”

My head flying back in disbelief  I said, “AH, you have got to be kidding me, I just released fear as my false protector, and now you are saying confusion has come to take its place?” UGH!

My friend had just said something similar to me as I was rambling about my confusion to him before the appointment: “Lindsay, staying confused keeps you from making a decision and that feels safer than stepping into something that you fear either outcome, you are staying safe on the fence.”

Folks, I feared pain, the pain of possible rejection and the pain of it possibly working out. I know, kinda crazy, huh! I feared, so I was controlling through confusion.

I feared, so I was controlling through confusion. That’s really WEIRD.

Fear, control, and confusion often work side by side.

But we have to walk past them, we have to push through them, and that is not always easy, actually, I have found that it can be quite hard.  But GOOD NEWS Jesus is right beside us, there to help us, He really is, we just have to ask.

We have to ask Jesus to help us, and then we have to ask ourselves:

  1. Self, what is confusing to you?
  2. Self, what do you fear about this particular situation?
  3. Self, what are you trying to control?

Then, we must ask Jesus the same questions.

Jesus, what are my fears in this situation?

Jesus, what am I trying to control?

Jesus, what part is confusion playing? What am I REALLY confused about?

The confusion comes to bring disorder in our minds. Sometimes it feels safe, but like fear it is a false protector, it’s hiding something that Jesus probably wants to heal.

In 1 Peter 5:8 the Bible says “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

In the Greek language (the original language of the Bible) the word sober-minded is a verb meaning to exercise self-control.

“self-control” in our mind is what we are going to talk about here. And GOOD NEWS because self-control is a FRUIT of the Holy Spirit, so we don’t really have to muster it up, we can rather, ASK for HIS help!

It’s the simplest of prayers, “Holy Spirit will you help me here”?

The thing is controlling what we believe is an action; it is the renewing of our mind with what God says about us, rather than:

A) What we think ourselves.


B) What the dust people say about us (every human on earth)

Don’t believe all the thoughts you think about yourself, because our minds are influenced by so many different things and this is what causes confusion.

The definition of confusion is state in which many things are happening in a way that is not controlled or orderly.

“many things are happening” can mean, many things happening around us, many things happening inside of us or many things being spoken over us (by random dust people or directly from the Father of Lies). All of this can cause confusion.

I love what I heard Bible teacher, Beth Moore recently say:

“It’s often important to ask…Who told you that?”

Who told you, you were confused?

Who told you, you were ugly?

Who told you, you were worthless?

Who told you weren’t good enough? 

Who told you that?

Ask yourself!

And ask Holy Spirit to help you!

We must be sober-minded, we must be thoughtful about what we are thinking about, we must ask ourselves, where did that thought come from? And what is the fruit of that thought? Is it peace, joy, contentment? Or is it fear, anxiousness, confusion.

We are in a world with two kingdoms, the Kingdom of Heaven and the kingdom of darkness. Which Kingdom is your thought life coming from? We can all be influenced by both at any minute.

Which Kingdom are you allowing into your mind, to affect your emotions?

God (the God of the Bible) is not a God of confusion, so if you are confused, ask Jesus to show you His truth in your life and your situation. He says He will never leave you or forsake you and that He will always help you through His Spirit (the Holy Spirit). (Hebrews 13:5 and Isaiah 41:10)

Be encouraged, because we are promised that when we ask it will be given to us (Matthew 7:7) and in conjunction with James 1:5 when we ask for wisdom, we can be assured that He will provide what we need.

Get my newest book “Letting Love In” Book HERE

Get the “Crushing The Inner Critic” Course HERE 

Book Recommendations:

Click Here for More on SOZO

Click Here for More on Godly Dating – Is God saying He the One

Click Below for More from Beth Moore- She’s AMAZING!

Click Here for Breaking Free

Click Here for So Long Insecurity


8 Comments on “Confusion! Who Told You That?

  1. Just read this. What an outstanding article. Describes perfectly the recent circumstances of my life.

    • YAY Perry, God is SO good, He is so so so with us, God bless you, and tell confusion to take a hike..

  2. Hi Lindsay, just wanted to let you know I read your article “What to do when your Christian, Single and over 30” and I thought it was great. I’m a guy and the article was sent to me via Crosswalk Singles through email and I just loved it. I felt like letting you know this, especially since you were speaking primarily to women.
    I could see the logic and how what you said made a lot of sense. I like to travel but going out alone I admit hasn’t been something I was looking to do, Based on what you said though, if God should lead me to travel abroad by myself at some point, I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. Your right, every time I go out, even now, locally, I know I don’t go alone, God goes with me.
    The truth is, every day you wake up with Jesus as your Lord and Saviour it’s an adventure because you don’t know how He’ll lead on any given day.(Even with pre-planned agenda’s lined up to do)
    I also agree with what you said on taking this time as a single to really get to know yourself and enjoy doing the things you like. Your so right on the fact that not everyone’s going to enjoy what you like, perhaps not even your future spouse.
    Well, God bless you Lindsay and keep writing such thought provoking, inspiring and uplifting articles to the glory of God and to the benefit of other singles like myself.

    • Oh my gosh, this is SO encouraging. thank you. I write and write and then think, what am I doing. LOL.. SUCH a blessing..

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