Why is rest awkward?

It was Easter Sunday as I drove up the freeway to church, my heart kind of beating in my throat. You know the feeling, my stomach just not settled, I was bothered and felt extremely anxious. “What did God want me to do”, I thought?

I knew He led me to step away from my job, without another job, I knew He asked me to rest. I thought 3 weeks was enough and it was time to get back to it. I had several irons in the fire, audiobooks on play, learning how to take the next step as a writer, a creative entrepreneur.

I got to church, sat down and couldn’t get my mind off of the thoughts running around inside my head. Then it was time for prayer at the end of service.  It’s a time where anyone can go up and receive prayer about anything. I have taken advantage of this prayer ministry many times, which can be humbling to walk up in front of everyone and admit you’re desperate need for God, once again.

But God has been really teaching me about “people pleasing” or really caring what others think and caring more about what He thinks instead. So with my head down, I proceeded to the front of the room. I needed to know what He thought and I knew prayer was a great place to start.

“I just need discernment on what God wants me to do“ I said to the prayer minister. “Let’s listen to the Holy Spirit” she said. Then, she began to pray and ask for God’s direction on my behalf. See there is power in the agreement of two or more people when praying, the Bible talks about this in Matthew 18:19 where it reads “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. -Jesus.”

As she prayed, I heard the Lord whisper “just wait”

I thought “Lord, I have all these irons in the fire, I have told so many people I would help with this project and that project, shouldn’t I start making money?”

The prayer minister then said “I feel like God just wants you to crawl up in His lap and be His daughter.”

I had heard God tell me to “just wait” before and that He would show me, but it didn’t quite compute. I knew that hearing this a second time, it was probably from God, so I knelt down at the altar to just be. Then another friend who didn’t really know anything about what we just prayed, knelt down beside me and said “can I pray for you?” As she prayed it felt like she had just had a full on conversation with the last girl that prayed for me, she was saying the very same thing. I knew then without a doubt it was God. I knew He wanted me to stop all that I was doing and rest and trust in Him for what was next.

“God this doesn’t make sense, you know how much money I have in my bank account, right?”

Then I thought, “Oh yeah, You are God, You know everything.”

I realized later as I was processing with God, that I have done a pretty good job all these years taking care of myself. I wasn’t sure what He meant by being a daughter especially at age 38, I mean I am an adult shouldn’t I take care of myself? But He said “no, I want to show you how to be My daughter”

Why is it so difficult? To let the One who created us, take care of us?

Control? probably

Distrust? I am sure

Unbelief? yes we all struggle with that from time to time

fear? possibly

The opposite of what culture tells us? UHM yeah FOR SURE.

But as I like to say, people create culture and God well He created the entire Universe.

He is God and because of His son Jesus, we are reconciled back to Father God and called His children. It’s quite beautiful and pretty simple, but we like to make things way more complicated it seems.

Have you given your life to the Lord Jesus Christ? It’s not really a prayer or a big production, it’s a belief and acceptance of a gift that He died to give us, we accept it or we don’t, the choice is really ours.

We love Him only because He first loved us.  

If you love Him, let Him know, He is much closer than you realize.


Fear and Love

I am thrilled to tell you how the Lord lead me to really punch fear in the face. I never read any of Jon Acuff’s books but he first coined that term. “Punch Fear in the Face.”

I have probably always lived with fear, my entire 37 years of life, sad, but true. I struggled mainly with two out of the three kinds of fear;

1. Fear of Man

2. Fear of the Devil

I use to fear YOUR opinion, more than you can imagine and it was so exhausting. I cared what everyone thought, from my precious family to a stranger, it was beyond exhausting trying to manage your perception of me. I might have a future in being a publicist or something because I got really good at thinking through the lens of everyone else. WHOA.

I also had a Fear of the Devil “what would be my next suffering” I constantly thought. And when I say constantly, I mean constantly. I almost thought more about the devil then I did about God. I actually believed for a long part of my Christian walk especially after moving to LA that the devil was more powerful than God, talk about exhausting, I can’t even explain the terror of that lie.

What I know is that the devil is the Father of Lies and to be honest agreeing with His lies can be pretty damaging. My favorite quote recently on this subject is from Todd White (if you don’t know Todd, you might want to google him) he said “you can’t fight the devil, it’s like punching air, you instead have to fill your head so full of the Word of God that there is no room for the devils lies.” When Todd recently said this at a conference I was at,  I literally jumped out of my seat  yelling “YES YES”!  I am sure you can imagine. I was excited because the truth of the matter was, I was spending so much time fighting the devil that I had no time to sit and be with God. 

It was a sweet new friend of mine that said “Lindsay there are 3 kinds of fear that all fear really root back too:

  1. Fear of Man; aka People Pleasing and the alike

  2. Fear of the Devil

  3. Fear of Death

I told her I defiantly had been struggling with the first two, the 3rd one didn’t seem to be as bad for me, but it might be for you.

So what is the cure, how do we fight fear? Well as I was reading my Bible one evening filling my head with the Word of God (as Todd so suggested) and I came across 1 John 4:18

English Standard Version

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

We all know that first part of the verse. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. I have heard that one a million times, but the second part is the part I had not heard in a while or maybe ever, “whoever fears has not been perfected in love” . It jumped out at me and I thought “ok I know I can’t fight fear, because fear is a lie, so according to this, I need to pray to be perfected in God’s love, which will then CAST out fear.

It’s sounds painfully simple, I mean 38 years of fear and this little prayer was going to do the trick?

Well folks, I gotta be honest with you.


I don’t know how, I don’t ever pretend to understand how prayer works.

So if you struggle with fear, my prayer for you is that God would perfect you in His love, good news, He IS LOVE so more of Him is more of Love! 

Love Always, linds

The Shield of Faith!

Lately I have been learning about forgiveness. Again!

This time not so much about the big ugly things of our past, I have been through that cleansing process already and am beyond thankful to have taken a few years to forgive myself, others and even God for a lot of the past. No God does not need my forgiveness, but it sometimes frees us to admit our anger or resentment towards God.

This time it is about the seemingly little everyday occurrences of life that happen just by doing life with other humans. I am learning that when I “think” I have every right to stay hurt, or offended the truth is Jesus said “you are to forgive 70X7 times” which =490 times EACH DAY even if it is the same person who hurts you.

That’s a lot!

Trust me, I understand, sometimes the anger feels so justified, sometimes the hurt is so very very real, but Jesus makes it pretty clear to the disciples, forgive 7X70. (period) no exceptions.

I have this category here on my blog called “worry, wonder and minimeltdowns” I have heard people call these minimeltdowns “their wrestling matches with God.” But me, I just call it like I see it, “adult temper tantrums” because basically we are saying, “I don’t want too, I don’t want to forgive them God.”

We want to hold onto the anger, because it feels justified and to be honest it feels good. It feels like we are getting them back by staying angry.

The truth is “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 NASB

The people we sometimes refuse to forgive are not our problem but the enemy would love for us to think they are the problem because it is really him who is the problem.

So what do we do?

The very next verse in the Bible after warning us that our fight is not against flesh and blood is “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace

The very next verse says in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:13-15 NASB

As I was studying a bit for this blog post, I saw that the scripture reads “you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one with this shield of faith”. Ephesians 6:16 NASB

And I fell head over heals in LOVE with the word, ALL.

I will admit to you that I have struggled in the past with believing the lie that the devil is more powerful then God, WHAT ON EARTH I KNOW. And friends I will tell you, believing that will create gripping fear in your life. And sadly that is how I have lived most of my 37 almost 38 years.

Gripped by fear, which is just a big fat ugly lie from the very pit of hell.

So, as I was learning this and going through one of the toughest months I have had in a while, I would smile on the inside when I picked up this really groovy bracelet from a company called Gracewear. As all of their jewelry represents the Shield of Faith.

It was like a sweet little (but powerful) reminder that My God, has me covered with His armor.

People would often notice and comment on the bracelet but they didn’t know what it stood for, it was like a nod from God, “I have got you girl”.

So guess what, I have the same SUPER groovy bracelet (see here) to give-away to one of you sweet readers. Comment below with a verse from scripture that encourages you and I will put you in a hat and draw to see who wins. We wear lots of hats in sunny Southern California.

Ps. My next giveaway (shoes from a certain One for One company) will be for my email subscribers exclusively. Sign up to receive my blog in your inbox.

You can also use this link (Click Here) to purchase any items from this website. I will then get credit and I will use that money to put back into my blog (which I am re-launching soon) so thanks for helping.

Love you always,


Freedom from all the YUCK!

Love leads to freedom!

God is love and where the Spirit of the Lord (God) is, there is freedom.

The Bible says it like this “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom”  in 2 Corthin. 3:17 (NIV)

The NASB version uses the word liberty! “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” 2 Corthin. 3:17 (NASB)

Que Chris Tomlin

We know where the Spirit of the Lord is
Where the Spirit of the Lord is
There is liberty
We know living in your freedom
living in your freedom, see your glory
We know where the Spirit of the Lord is
Where the Spirit of the Lord is
There is liberty

“Listen Here to Song”

The truth is, I thought I wrote a bunch on love and it was time to move to another subject I am beyond passionate about which is FREEDOM in CHRIST. But it all ended up coming back to Love, Himself!

Freedom = Getting free of all the yuck in our souls, the lies, the fear, the guilt, the shame, the unforgivness, the bitterness, the rejection, the abandonment, the misplaced identity, all of it, all of the yucky stuff will just hold you down, it will confuse you and it will keep you chained for life and the sad part is, you will never know the difference.

If you don’t know the truth, how will you know the lie?

It’s not exactly easy, you may need 17 boxes of Kleenex and a determination to tell the enemy to go back to hell where he and his lies came from in the first place and possibly on a daily basis. As scripture refers to it in 2 Corthin10:5 where it says “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ because you are a daughter or son of the LIVING GOD and you were born for FREEDOM. (Lindsay’s Version)

Galatians 5:1 Jesus came to set YOU free!

John 8:32 says “YOU shall know the truth and the truth will set YOU free.”

Jesus is the Word, the Truth and the Life and He came to bring the Word, the Truth and Life to set YOU free! (John 14:5)

Let me say that again, JESUS

The answer is still JUST JESUS and the answer will always be just Jesus, but sometimes we need a little help unwrapping the grave clothes (as Mark Batterson refers to it) because we are no longer dead in our sins, but we are ALIVE in JESUS CHRIST! The thing is we can carry some of those old grave clothes around with us! Grave Clothes like fear, guilt, shame, rejection, unworthiness and a host of others. Grave Clothes that will not necessarily send us to hell, but will hinder us and our walk if don’t “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” as said in Hebrews 12:1

But the enemy doesn’t want you to know there is any other way but to slug around with your grave clothes hanging off you, like toilette paper from the bathroom hanging onto your shoe.

Example of Grave Clothes…..

I recently thought to myself  “Why am I 37 and single when I have a desire to be married, what is wrong with me?” I wondered. It must be complicated, I thought. There must be something extremely wrong with me. WHAT IS IT GOD? I begged and begged to know. He was kind to show me the unworthiness lie which I believed for a longgggggg time (too long to even think about) see here for more on the lie of unworthiness, but I knew there was more. Lord what is it?

He kept showing me this rejection theme, eekkkk, it was ugly to see, it made me want to turn my head like in a scary movie as I realized I rejected the desire to love for fear of not being loved in return. Ohhhhh myyyyy wordddddd, it’s so simple but so strangely profound. How could a seemingly strong, Godly, competent women be hiding like this?

Well I was!

And still might from time to time if I don’t take every thought captive that tries to sneak into my head!

I will find freedom if I have to KICK and SCREAM as the enemy whispers in my ear “you are selfish Lindsay, always thinking about yourself.”  But good thing I know the enemy is a liar, and an evil accuser of the brethren (or sisterian in my case) so I just look up at Jesus, step on the enemies head and walk on!

As Christine Caine recently said, “We have a bunch of Christians running around wanting to change the world but not wanting to change themselves”


As you LOVE yourself! Interesting!

Jesus came to set us free, so if you are in bondage, it is time to stop what you are doing, get down on your knees and ask your PERFECT Heavenly Father for the wisdom and sit at His feet until He shows you what He wants to show you. I don’t have a clue what it is for you! Rejection like me? Fear of abandonment? Unworthiness? Unforgivness from 20 years ago? Misplaced Identity? It could be any of these or a host of others.

It takes time sometimes, that is why the Bible says to: “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2 NASB)

In all things we need to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

So pray and ask the Lord if there is anything holding you back from the freedom He died to bring you?

Click Here to see the prayers on this blog for releasing things like fear, rejection, unforgivness and bitterness.

Also see this article on the health benefit to forgiving and releasing bitterness from the Mayo Clinic!

Wanna talk more offline email me at [email protected]

The More on LOVE!

Ok, I know this isn’t what you thought I was going to say and to be honest I didn’t know what I was going to say until I sat down with the Lord last night…….

I did know God wanted me to step out of my fear “of acting weird” brought on partly by my deep insecurity…. I knew because scripture is clear ”For God hath {has} not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

So that was clear, but I didn’t know exactly where we were going (aka the very name of my blog comes rushing back to hit me upside the head) Put the Pencil Down Lindsay, don’t assume what I am doing – I can just hear God saying….

Sometimes (actually often) I get these big ideas on where God may be headed, I am not positive He switches it up a bit to see if I will follow Him, but it would be interesting to see if I would listen and follow. Or if I would just mosey on in the direction I THOUGHT He was taking me and miss the very point of what He might be trying to teach me. Am I alone here?

I knew God wanted me to date, I just didn’t know it was Him that He wanted me to date.

This isn’t actually new. I use to have Jesus dates all the time when I lived in Atlanta and that is actually where I experienced so much healing of my broken wounded soul. He taught me so much about what love really was, what receiving love really looked like. It healed MANY deep deep things within me.

He is actually Love! 1 John 4:8 HA who better to teach us?

I KNOW I KNOW! All of you singles are like “Lindsay PLEASE”

{I can hear you!}

But I am not trying to be super holy here, I am being super honest!

And just to show you that I am not crazy or alone in this, read this amazing story….CLICK HERE you can just hit the back arrow when you are done! Cuz we aren’t done!


Your back, OK, let’s continue..

When I first got to LA I wasn’t all the way prepared for the transition and I gripped firmly onto my life and was scared to let go.

I then had a dear mentor tell me that my extreme struggle and fear may have come from the fact that I wasn’t really prepared for what a move like this could be like spiritually speaking. She said “Lindsay I know you had a wonderful, supportive community in Atlanta and I think you found a lot of your security in them. When you moved out here you thought your security was in your community so you ran around this city for months looking for that community and you forgot that your security was ALWAYS in God and as soon as you put Him first again your community and everything else will flow from there”

OH MY WORD. Girlfriend was right on! I knew it the moment she said it! What she said hit me like a ton of bricks.

In a good way!

As God, my mentor and I have been talking more and more about dating outside of Him, He reminded me that He is perfect love and I need to come to Him and He will show me so that I can surely recognize it when that time comes.

Here is the thing, I just don’t bare my soul across the internet because it’s fun, writing actually heals my soul and my  prayer is that reading it actually heals yours.

Let’s go on this journey together, becoming students of Love Himself!!! So much more to talk about in regards to love. It will be fun! I have no doubt!